sometimes....

sometimes i have these strange and fleeting thoughts. they're not necessarily disturbing. they're just.....out of character....or maybe they're so far in character, i'm in denial about my true being. anyways, you know when you're walking in a large crowd, and people tend to touch in an accidental yet uncomfortable manner? or even walking next to a friend, and your hands touch, or someone's ass get's tapped, and things get WAY more awkward than the terms of your friendship bargained for?
okay, so get this. I'm in Disneyland last week, weaving through the enormous crowd that usually occupies the fantasized theme park this time of the year. all of a sudden i feel a hand brush my ass and out of the corner of my eye i see it's a middle age mess of a guy. you know the type. someone who spent the entirety of his life looking to earn money, work an office job, and keep up with the Jones'. he was your neighbor, for god sake, you know who i'm talking about. i ignored the brush because looking at him would have only caused embarrassment for the both of us.....except, i couldn't help but wish that instead, i had slowly turned to look at him, parted my lips in a sly smile, and with one small movement, throw his entire day off, by winking......and then disappearing into the crowd.

why don't i ever actually do any of this shit? it would make my day a hell of a lot more interesting, and throwing people off balance makes me feel accomplished.....whatever, maybe writing about it will give me the motivation i need to be more spontaneous......

The Conversation I wish that I'd had....

Yesterday, Sunday morning, I went to the pharmacy before work to fill my prescription. To be more specific, my birth control prescription. I walk in wearing my "Tree Hugger" tshirt, jeans, and my rope and canvas shoes. At the counter, standing next to me, was a woman who looked ultra-conservative. Like, you could tell that hers was the gigantic excursion out front with the Jesus fish on the back and "Yes on Prop8" bumper stickers. The sneer, the hairstyle, the gaudy cross around her neck said it all.
I'm running errands just before I need to hightail it to work, and to be honest, I was in a rush. Maybe I was shuffling around a lot and looking constantly for the pharmacist's attention, but something must have shown in my face, in my stance that I was in a rush, because the lady has the gall to remark to me: "What on earth could a young girl like you be in such a hurry to pick up?"
I looked over at her slightly confused that she would ask a stranger the question, but she had.
"Well, ma'am, just picking up birth control. You know how that goes, eh? Couldn't possibly see myself with a kid at this age! I've got enough issues in my life as is! The cost of these pills are going to add up though, gosh! I suppose I wouldn't have this problem if I was a lesbian, but I just love dick waaaaayy to much to even consider that!" (*checked my phone*) "Oh! Dave* called! Whelp, looks like I'm off to my next endeavor!" (*and i paid for my pills and left her gawping at the counter*)
In my head.

Instead, I simply gave her a confused look, and said, "oh, just my prescription" in my quiet, idontknowwhoyouareorwhyyouretalkingtome voice, and ignored her for the rest of the time i was at the counter.

-H

*disclaimer: I don't know a Dave.

Pilot?

So, just like any beginning of a series, there's the introductory episode to start things off. That's what this post will be: an introduction to this person you'll be dealing with.

Hi! My name is Holly. I'm in my 20s, let's leave it at that. I call this my monoblogue because you will be reading the monologues i have with myself......doesn't everyone do this? Construct conversations with themselves and characters they have created for their own personal amusement/therapy/insanity? No? Well, i'm fully ready to admit that it's quite likely that I am insane. Even so, these will be my oddest thoughts and events that occur throughout the day, and hopefully I'll be able to deliver them in a way that will keep you as entertained as I am.

Enjoy the ride, folks! and thanks for reading!

Holly