So, today's events were a little out of hand, and to cope, i'm staying at home with a glass of wine and a movie marathon.....so far it's been Ratatouille switching to Pinocchio during commercial breaks, followed by Charlie and the Chocolate factory. I'm just waiting for his mom to sing "Cheer up Charlie" before i'm sure i'll feel better. Charlie is also the name of our cat, so maybe I should go grab him for complete movie enjoyment.
As i've been watching this childhood favorite, I've noticed a few inconsistencies and inane statements. Sure, it's based on a book by Roald Dahl, so who am I to claim that the movie is over fantasized? I'm not about to criticize one of my favorite childrens' book authors. I hold him on a tier parallel to Dr. Seuss and that's a pretty high tier.
So far, here are my observations:
In the beginning, when charlie is staring at the Wonka factory longingly after his long 15 second interlude of a paperboy shift, the tinker suddenly appears behind him. Silently as if he'd been there all along. With a cart that is filled with sharp objects and butcher knives that SWING BACK AND FORTH WHEN THE CART IS MOVED......how does this guy still have his nose in place with that rolling guillotine? Also, that cart makes more noise than a crowd of high schoolers during a pep rally.
Another thing that bugs me is when Grampa Joe finally gets out of bed, he stands and says "i haven't done this for 20 years!" the man doesn't look a day over 70. Do you mean to tell me he got in bed at the age of 50 with the intent of having his already dirt poor daughter and son-in-law provide for him and his wife with the oddly misplaced accent? at 50? also, i feel like i'm going to develop bed sores when i stay in bed longer than 9 hours, let alone 20 years.
There was something that bothered me about all of the adults in Charlies neighborhood that weren't Mr. joepeck(?) or his grandparents/mom. Tonight, it hit me. they're all british? Where does charlie live anyways? I'm pretty sure it's the states, but it could just as easily be somewhere in the UK.....but what lower class dirt poor family makes the trek BACK to england to live really crappily? So i'm guessing it's in the U.S. but really? Bill who owns the candy shop, and charlies science teacher? I don't understand this. Were the Brits really upset that the U.S. was making a movie out of a renowned British author and demanded to be given minor roles in the beginning of the film? What a battle. Since when are the british french? is this their subtle way of getting back at us for that tea party? Alright, enough about brits, i really do love the english, i just feel like ranting.
11:22 We're in the candy room. you know, central park if it were made entirely out of sweets. I've always thoroughly enjoyed this part in the movie. This point, along with the beginning scenes showing all the insane people and their crazy notions to find the golden tickets are my favorite parts of the movie. Anyways, i don't know why, but i get a real kick out of watching gene wilder take a bite out of that tulip/cup.....and i always wonder what flavor it is....i imagine by it's color, it's a waxy tasting lemon flavor......like a lemon head and wax lips got together in flower/teacup form. sweet! augustus is in the river and it's time to board the wonkatania. acid trip here we come!
11:39 Okay, so after the commercial, we've come back to the invention room, and I just need to talk about the everlasting gobstopper: when I was little, I loved how that machine thing worked. the springs, the whistles, the bells, the beeps, everything. it was so cool. so cool, in fact, that when i was a kid, i dragged a bench from the outside into the house while this movie was on, put a blanket over my head and a broom, and pushed the broom back and forth whiletossing stuffed animals out of the machine....i didn't have any gobstoppers. oh wait, we're getting to violet's great gum mistake....
11:44 ha! her dad is so forceful "violet don't do anything stupid" what a parent. I also like that you can see the blue lamp shining in her hair..... "Violet, you're turning violet, violet!" this movie is so quotable....and another oompa loompa musical break comes into play.
lifegoal: i want a snozzberry
11:53 the fizzy lifting drinks scene. whenever i'm in a pool, and i do a flip underwater, I always think of grampa joe and charlie doing flips in the room...
Also, I'm glad that the big suspense scene is charlie and grampa joe burping their way to safety. Tim Burton really missed out on some big opportunities by discluding that in his version.
11:58 Those geese are enormous......and another good line "Who says i can't have one?!" (under the breath) "the man with the funny hat". it's so subtle, but so good. On another, unrelated note: I love that the oompa loompa dance scenes are just as complicatedly choreographed as a high school musical. (and don't even get me started on that ridiculous piece of crap that they call theatre).
ugh. these commercials don't appeal to my demographic....whatever that demographic may be. why is it all women watching the stain tests for clorox? i've seen plenty of men do laundry, in fact i think my stepdad can battle a stain far more effectively than my mom can.
12:06 Hahaha, mike teevee's mom asks for a rest. what a whimp! hsaw aknow, awaits!
12:11 Even better: When mike shrinks, Mrs. Teevee puts him in her purse gently, and Mr. Wonka swings the purse back and forth like the pirate ship swing at the county fair.
12:17 So we reach the end of the film. I've always loved Mr. Wonka's office. the Half office.....half wall paper strips, half clock, half paintings, calendars, desk, lamp, coffee mug, telephone. neat.
12:20 Charlie wins! glass elevator and the view of whatever flat city it is that they live in... I'm sad they didn't include other rooms of the factory to be toured by elevator.
Oh grampa joe, don't worry, it's sugar glass.
yes, this is how i spend my saturday night. Watching Willy Wonka by myself and blogging about it. Life for me is suspenseful, I know. Night all! and we'll see you back next time for another episode of monoblogging!
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Nice Dream
So maybe it was watching the horror story that is Food Inc yesterday, combined with a not so fantastic day at work, or even finding a new favorite artist in the mysterious and eerie artwork of Odilon Redon, but I had the worst nightmare I could possibly think up last night......Okay, so maybe there's worse I could think of and I shouldn't second guess the strength of my imagination, but I woke up deeply disturbed.
It starts like this:
I'm at work which also happens to be my house that I'm currently renting with my two roomies/friends/coworkers....only it's not our house exactly...or something. you know how dreams are. anyways, there's this guy in the store with about three or four dogs that are drooling like crazy. He's an elderly man and he's wearing a dirty white button up and dirty old jeans. I think we all have the impression that he's homeless. And he's carrying a baby. The baby isn't looking too homeless. She's about 18 months, has light brown hair, and the longest eyelashes i've ever seen.
The really weird part, is that not only are the dogs drooling everywhere, the old guy was too......not the baby, which would normally be expected, but the old guy was drooling on our desk at work. Which was weird to begin with, but we didn't see it at first. When we did, we realized that the drool wasn't just saliva because it was congealing and had a yellowish tinge to it. My manager, Rodney, was at the desk with me and two other people and we all looked down realizing it was there and at the same exact time, were disgusted that had we not seen it, we could have put our hands in it.
So Rodney explained to the guy that he'd have to leave. Rather harshly, I might add. Which is funny because Rodney is never harsh about anything.
The guy proceeds to gather his dogs, and leaving the baby behind....which I'm relieved of, because it doesn't look like this guy should be raising a child, nor that he's healthy enough to be considered a valid parent.....not at his age, anyway. So now, I'm holding the baby and worrying that I might be the one who will be taking care of her, unless I can find her parent(s).
As I'm holding the girl, thinking all she needs is a mother, two of the dogs, a bassett hound and a strange looking french bulldog come up to me, nudging my hands and pulling at my pant legs, eventually leading me next door, to an old quiet house. It was filled with 60s memorabilia, organics, hemp, it was clearly a hippy house. The real house next door is filled with so much clutter it's indefineable. All I know about those guys, is that they like to indulge in Korean Karaoke during the day.....It was then that I discovered that I didn't live in a neighborhood of bros and asians, but a hippy neighborhood! I attribute this aspect of the dream to having watched conan last night because his musical guest was the cast of "Hair", and I'd forgotten how much i love that musical.
Anyways, I'm carrying this relatively calm child through the house, looking for signs of life. I enter the master bedroom upstairs to find a woman sitting on a chair looking at me as I'm holding the baby with absolutely no emotion.
The baby, it turns out is hers, and is named "Lemony". "Lemony Jones" to be more specific. The woman explains to me that the old man likes taking the baby with him because she keeps him company. He's not exactly related to them, but is a part of the community and she trusts him.
A few years pass, and I become a close family friend of theirs. I watch her daughters whenever she needs a babysitter, and have developed a close bond with Lemony, who is now 3 years old. While living in this hippy neighborhood, I've apparently started dating someone that I'm close friends with, but couldn't possibly date irl because we're just too different. I mean, i've become an extension of this hippy family, and he shows up in a yellow polo, tan slacks, and his hair neatly combed to the side. All we'd need to complete the image were if he was wearing a sweater tied around his shoulders.
so he kisses me (which weirds me out in the dream and in real life) and takes off. I'm left alone with Lemony, her two sisters, and her mother. I have, for some reason, on my right arm, an ulcer, that's been bothering me since I don't know what it is, or where it came from. I vaguely remember something painful happening there but not doing anything about it. My whole arm had been bothering me, had been feeling funny, and was swollen in comparison with the other one. all of a sudden, there's an extreme pressure on my arm, and i notice that the cavity (which is located just above where one would wear a watch) is filled with dimes.....and i try and remove them, which produces rotting orange flesh to squelch out of the wound along with bits of black blood. After removing all the dimes, I'm left to discover there are a few white pods embedded in the skin of the wound, and as I'm trying to discover what the fuck they are, my arm feels a wrenching pain, and bursting from the rotting flesh of the ulcer, are hundreds of enormous beetles. Their sharp pincers and legs claw at the inside of my arm, and the opening, and they attack my face and the girls in the room with me. I scream in horror, and try to stop them, hoping to not let them all out until i've safely removed my arm from my body. most of them have excaped my arm at this point leaving only two that are dormant in my arm. I try to hold them down so that I can get outside, but this only wakes them, prompting one to escape my arm and attack me. The other I finally release outdoors, and look down at the ulcer which is now just rotting purple and grey flesh.
I woke up panicking and holding my arm, searching desperately to be sure I had no unusual lumps or wounds. I wanted to cry, vomit, and wrap my body in plastic wrap to be sure that nothing would happen to it.
and now I want to draw it.
It starts like this:
I'm at work which also happens to be my house that I'm currently renting with my two roomies/friends/coworkers....only it's not our house exactly...or something. you know how dreams are. anyways, there's this guy in the store with about three or four dogs that are drooling like crazy. He's an elderly man and he's wearing a dirty white button up and dirty old jeans. I think we all have the impression that he's homeless. And he's carrying a baby. The baby isn't looking too homeless. She's about 18 months, has light brown hair, and the longest eyelashes i've ever seen.
The really weird part, is that not only are the dogs drooling everywhere, the old guy was too......not the baby, which would normally be expected, but the old guy was drooling on our desk at work. Which was weird to begin with, but we didn't see it at first. When we did, we realized that the drool wasn't just saliva because it was congealing and had a yellowish tinge to it. My manager, Rodney, was at the desk with me and two other people and we all looked down realizing it was there and at the same exact time, were disgusted that had we not seen it, we could have put our hands in it.
So Rodney explained to the guy that he'd have to leave. Rather harshly, I might add. Which is funny because Rodney is never harsh about anything.
The guy proceeds to gather his dogs, and leaving the baby behind....which I'm relieved of, because it doesn't look like this guy should be raising a child, nor that he's healthy enough to be considered a valid parent.....not at his age, anyway. So now, I'm holding the baby and worrying that I might be the one who will be taking care of her, unless I can find her parent(s).
As I'm holding the girl, thinking all she needs is a mother, two of the dogs, a bassett hound and a strange looking french bulldog come up to me, nudging my hands and pulling at my pant legs, eventually leading me next door, to an old quiet house. It was filled with 60s memorabilia, organics, hemp, it was clearly a hippy house. The real house next door is filled with so much clutter it's indefineable. All I know about those guys, is that they like to indulge in Korean Karaoke during the day.....It was then that I discovered that I didn't live in a neighborhood of bros and asians, but a hippy neighborhood! I attribute this aspect of the dream to having watched conan last night because his musical guest was the cast of "Hair", and I'd forgotten how much i love that musical.
Anyways, I'm carrying this relatively calm child through the house, looking for signs of life. I enter the master bedroom upstairs to find a woman sitting on a chair looking at me as I'm holding the baby with absolutely no emotion.
The baby, it turns out is hers, and is named "Lemony". "Lemony Jones" to be more specific. The woman explains to me that the old man likes taking the baby with him because she keeps him company. He's not exactly related to them, but is a part of the community and she trusts him.
A few years pass, and I become a close family friend of theirs. I watch her daughters whenever she needs a babysitter, and have developed a close bond with Lemony, who is now 3 years old. While living in this hippy neighborhood, I've apparently started dating someone that I'm close friends with, but couldn't possibly date irl because we're just too different. I mean, i've become an extension of this hippy family, and he shows up in a yellow polo, tan slacks, and his hair neatly combed to the side. All we'd need to complete the image were if he was wearing a sweater tied around his shoulders.
so he kisses me (which weirds me out in the dream and in real life) and takes off. I'm left alone with Lemony, her two sisters, and her mother. I have, for some reason, on my right arm, an ulcer, that's been bothering me since I don't know what it is, or where it came from. I vaguely remember something painful happening there but not doing anything about it. My whole arm had been bothering me, had been feeling funny, and was swollen in comparison with the other one. all of a sudden, there's an extreme pressure on my arm, and i notice that the cavity (which is located just above where one would wear a watch) is filled with dimes.....and i try and remove them, which produces rotting orange flesh to squelch out of the wound along with bits of black blood. After removing all the dimes, I'm left to discover there are a few white pods embedded in the skin of the wound, and as I'm trying to discover what the fuck they are, my arm feels a wrenching pain, and bursting from the rotting flesh of the ulcer, are hundreds of enormous beetles. Their sharp pincers and legs claw at the inside of my arm, and the opening, and they attack my face and the girls in the room with me. I scream in horror, and try to stop them, hoping to not let them all out until i've safely removed my arm from my body. most of them have excaped my arm at this point leaving only two that are dormant in my arm. I try to hold them down so that I can get outside, but this only wakes them, prompting one to escape my arm and attack me. The other I finally release outdoors, and look down at the ulcer which is now just rotting purple and grey flesh.
I woke up panicking and holding my arm, searching desperately to be sure I had no unusual lumps or wounds. I wanted to cry, vomit, and wrap my body in plastic wrap to be sure that nothing would happen to it.
and now I want to draw it.
Saw Food Inc.
And I'm goddamn glad to be vegetarian.
provocative, powerful, informative. Everything a documentary should be. It inspires to move to action, and change what is happening in the food industry. Not only does it make you want to make a difference, you literally feel an urgent need to change the situation.
This film brings so much more of the truth to light. Even Super Size Me can't compare with how much motivation this film will bring, because it shows that not only fast food is hurting our bodies, but our entire food industry in the first place. it's despicable, and nobody knows about it or is allowed to know about it.
I desperately urge ALL of you to see this film. At the very least, see the film. The knowledge of what is happening in our food industry needs to be spread, otherwise there will be no change.
I'm getting tickets for my parents to see this, and i'll watch the kids, but I want them to start making educated decisions about the groceries they buy instead of the coupon clipped corn-starch based snacks and cheese puffs they fill their pantry with. my siblings are sick, and the food that they're eating is causing resistance to antibiotics, and worsening their health.
my little brother is chubby beyond reason despite being such an active kid. I fear he will contract diabetes soon if my parents continue to be neutral or inactive about his diet. he's only 10. my beautiful baby sister is losing her hair at the age of 6. there's a bald spot on the top of her head, and no medication is working. the doctors have tried everything, and are now attempting rogaine.
the state of health my family is in is disturbing, and we should all know why peoples health is this way. this movie explains why.
please see it.
A
Monday, June 22, 2009
sometimes....
sometimes i have these strange and fleeting thoughts. they're not necessarily disturbing. they're just.....out of character....or maybe they're so far in character, i'm in denial about my true being. anyways, you know when you're walking in a large crowd, and people tend to touch in an accidental yet uncomfortable manner? or even walking next to a friend, and your hands touch, or someone's ass get's tapped, and things get WAY more awkward than the terms of your friendship bargained for?
okay, so get this. I'm in Disneyland last week, weaving through the enormous crowd that usually occupies the fantasized theme park this time of the year. all of a sudden i feel a hand brush my ass and out of the corner of my eye i see it's a middle age mess of a guy. you know the type. someone who spent the entirety of his life looking to earn money, work an office job, and keep up with the Jones'. he was your neighbor, for god sake, you know who i'm talking about. i ignored the brush because looking at him would have only caused embarrassment for the both of us.....except, i couldn't help but wish that instead, i had slowly turned to look at him, parted my lips in a sly smile, and with one small movement, throw his entire day off, by winking......and then disappearing into the crowd.
why don't i ever actually do any of this shit? it would make my day a hell of a lot more interesting, and throwing people off balance makes me feel accomplished.....whatever, maybe writing about it will give me the motivation i need to be more spontaneous......
okay, so get this. I'm in Disneyland last week, weaving through the enormous crowd that usually occupies the fantasized theme park this time of the year. all of a sudden i feel a hand brush my ass and out of the corner of my eye i see it's a middle age mess of a guy. you know the type. someone who spent the entirety of his life looking to earn money, work an office job, and keep up with the Jones'. he was your neighbor, for god sake, you know who i'm talking about. i ignored the brush because looking at him would have only caused embarrassment for the both of us.....except, i couldn't help but wish that instead, i had slowly turned to look at him, parted my lips in a sly smile, and with one small movement, throw his entire day off, by winking......and then disappearing into the crowd.
why don't i ever actually do any of this shit? it would make my day a hell of a lot more interesting, and throwing people off balance makes me feel accomplished.....whatever, maybe writing about it will give me the motivation i need to be more spontaneous......
Monday, June 1, 2009
The Conversation I wish that I'd had....
Yesterday, Sunday morning, I went to the pharmacy before work to fill my prescription. To be more specific, my birth control prescription. I walk in wearing my "Tree Hugger" tshirt, jeans, and my rope and canvas shoes. At the counter, standing next to me, was a woman who looked ultra-conservative. Like, you could tell that hers was the gigantic excursion out front with the Jesus fish on the back and "Yes on Prop8" bumper stickers. The sneer, the hairstyle, the gaudy cross around her neck said it all.
I'm running errands just before I need to hightail it to work, and to be honest, I was in a rush. Maybe I was shuffling around a lot and looking constantly for the pharmacist's attention, but something must have shown in my face, in my stance that I was in a rush, because the lady has the gall to remark to me: "What on earth could a young girl like you be in such a hurry to pick up?"
I looked over at her slightly confused that she would ask a stranger the question, but she had.
"Well, ma'am, just picking up birth control. You know how that goes, eh? Couldn't possibly see myself with a kid at this age! I've got enough issues in my life as is! The cost of these pills are going to add up though, gosh! I suppose I wouldn't have this problem if I was a lesbian, but I just love dick waaaaayy to much to even consider that!" (*checked my phone*) "Oh! Dave* called! Whelp, looks like I'm off to my next endeavor!" (*and i paid for my pills and left her gawping at the counter*)
In my head.
Instead, I simply gave her a confused look, and said, "oh, just my prescription" in my quiet, idontknowwhoyouareorwhyyouretalkingtome voice, and ignored her for the rest of the time i was at the counter.
-H
*disclaimer: I don't know a Dave.
I'm running errands just before I need to hightail it to work, and to be honest, I was in a rush. Maybe I was shuffling around a lot and looking constantly for the pharmacist's attention, but something must have shown in my face, in my stance that I was in a rush, because the lady has the gall to remark to me: "What on earth could a young girl like you be in such a hurry to pick up?"
I looked over at her slightly confused that she would ask a stranger the question, but she had.
"Well, ma'am, just picking up birth control. You know how that goes, eh? Couldn't possibly see myself with a kid at this age! I've got enough issues in my life as is! The cost of these pills are going to add up though, gosh! I suppose I wouldn't have this problem if I was a lesbian, but I just love dick waaaaayy to much to even consider that!" (*checked my phone*) "Oh! Dave* called! Whelp, looks like I'm off to my next endeavor!" (*and i paid for my pills and left her gawping at the counter*)
In my head.
Instead, I simply gave her a confused look, and said, "oh, just my prescription" in my quiet, idontknowwhoyouareorwhyyouretalkingtome voice, and ignored her for the rest of the time i was at the counter.
-H
*disclaimer: I don't know a Dave.
Pilot?
So, just like any beginning of a series, there's the introductory episode to start things off. That's what this post will be: an introduction to this person you'll be dealing with.
Hi! My name is Holly. I'm in my 20s, let's leave it at that. I call this my monoblogue because you will be reading the monologues i have with myself......doesn't everyone do this? Construct conversations with themselves and characters they have created for their own personal amusement/therapy/insanity? No? Well, i'm fully ready to admit that it's quite likely that I am insane. Even so, these will be my oddest thoughts and events that occur throughout the day, and hopefully I'll be able to deliver them in a way that will keep you as entertained as I am.
Enjoy the ride, folks! and thanks for reading!
Holly
Hi! My name is Holly. I'm in my 20s, let's leave it at that. I call this my monoblogue because you will be reading the monologues i have with myself......doesn't everyone do this? Construct conversations with themselves and characters they have created for their own personal amusement/therapy/insanity? No? Well, i'm fully ready to admit that it's quite likely that I am insane. Even so, these will be my oddest thoughts and events that occur throughout the day, and hopefully I'll be able to deliver them in a way that will keep you as entertained as I am.
Enjoy the ride, folks! and thanks for reading!
Holly
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